I want to share my experience of moving from one day waking up in pain and returning back to feeling good in my body. This journey helped me gain knowledge to trust my body eventually leading me to Ayurveda. It was by accident, one after another. I was in three car accidents in a month.
I sat up and turned my head, pain shot across my neck and I could barley move my head to the left. “What just happened,” I wondered. The stiffness was not subsiding, a pinching feeling kept me worried. Would stretching help? I flashed back to the car accident I was in 10 days before. With the sound of tires screeching I braced for impact as I was rear ended on the I-5. At the time, it didn’t seem like that big of a deal. The following week after this pain started, I was in my friend’s car and were rear ended. Yet again, the following week I was riding my bicycle and got hit by a car. Laying on the ground the bright sun was blinding. I repeatedly tried to get up only to be told to just stay where I was. The sirens were coming closer. I could hear them well and I kept thinking, “Oh no, please let them just pass by, I’ll be fine.”
One day I was fine and the next I was in pain, struggling to sleep and feel comfortable with trouble concentrating. It felt as if I was knocked off my feet from behind, everything was muffled, I was barely present. My only focus during this time was to get out from under the pain, I was determined not to take painkillers numbing my body, my days were filled with appointments and PT. What was my body screaming at me? Pay attention. Wake up. Focus on me and listen. Before the month of accidents, as I refer to it, I was often on autopilot. I would go through the day without checking in, or paying attention, listening to what would be good for me. Constantly on the go, never allowing time for my body to rest, I would push through long days, judging and comparing myself to others.
My personal insight was learning the importance of taking the time, to connect with myself, to listen, pay attention, and to notice. Not to judge and beat myself up, but to give myself the attention that I deserve. This ability to take loving care of myself is tied up in receiving love from others. If I do not take care of myself no one else will. I was brought up to believe that thinking of myself was selfish, and that I should look at what I can do for those around me first, thus waiting for someone else to fulfill my needs later. This left me feeling emotionally drained, physically exhausted and never whole.
In paying more attention to myself and spending more time on my yoga mat I stumbled across Ayurveda. Ayurveda is the ancient holistic healing system from India that has been around for over 5000 years. Ayur means life and veda means knowledge. Often referred to as kitchen medicine or grandma medicine, it is the medicine of the people since most things you use you will already have in your kitchen. This knowledge looks at the daily and seasonal rhythms of nature and gives you the support to align your life to the rhythms of mother nature.
The light in me bows to the light in you,